


A Sky Full of Dreams

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Characters are 18+ unless otherwise stated, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-17 20:44:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9343100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A collection of shorts from tumblr.





	1. Short Stack Gunshow (Keidge)

“Ready? Just like we practiced.” 

Pidge’s hand tightens around her bayard, but she nods. Keith glances up over the bulkead they hide behind on the Galra ship. Exactly ten soldiers stand below, guarding the computer system and the locked door the Paladins need to get through. 

Ten soldiers, a fifteen foot drop, and a gaping chasm that Pidge can’t jump over lie between them and their goal. 

Keith lobs a small explosive at the group. He doesn’t have anything big enough to take them all out–really, it’s more like chucking a firecracker. But it rolls near the door and lets off a  _bang_  and a cloud of smoke, and it’s enough to draw all the soldiers’ attention towards it. 

They spring to their feet, holstering their bayards. Pidge runs a few steps back and turns around. She pauses for a split second, then grits her teeth and takes off in a full-on sprint towards Keith. 

He plants his feet and grabs her wrists and uses her momentum to spin around, building up enough force to throw her across the chasm. His heart stops the second he lets go–the way it always does, because if he messes up in the training room she could twist her ankle; if he messes up  _here–_  

But she twists in the air and crashes onto the lower deck. She rolls to her feet, ignoring the quick bite of pain in her shoulder, and draws her bayard. 

The first soldier turns just in time for a sickly bright flash of green to cut across his vision. 

The second has time to process the attack, and just barely opens his mouth to yell before he, too, is cut down. 

Keith sprints to the edge of the deck and leaps. The chasm is just a  _hair_  too wide, and his foot slips off the edge and he teeters wildly, arms flailing. Gravity yanks on his back and pushes on his chest,  _no, no, no…!!_  

But Pidge is fast, faster than he is sometimes, and she hurls the laser-green whip and catches him around the chest and  _yanks_. He falls hard, wincing at the electric shock, but shoves himself to his feet before even bothering to catch his breath. 

A kick to a soldier’s chest, a sword to their arm. Pidge’s little green bayard flying and flashing like a deadly hummingbird. Their jumps and strikes are perfectly timed, years of Keith’s honed martial arts experience flowing and blending with Pidge’s newly-acquired skills, their teamwork developed only in the span of months and yet blending together in a harmony that would rival the masters. 

Pidge backhands the last soldier with her shield, sending it flying into Keith’s sword. And they stand still for a moment, panting, sweat stinging in their eyes and dripping down their necks. A brief nod, a fistbump without looking, and Pidge is unlocking the door while Keith stands at the ready, anticipating whatever may come out. And both Paladins knowing that nothing that comes out that door stands a chance against the Arms of Voltron. 


	2. Not Forgotten (Gen)

Keith’s sword pulsed in his hand, matching the rapid-fire beat of his heart. He glared up at Sendak, at the purple metal hand holding a squirming Pidge aloft.

“Stand back!” Sendak growled.

 _Fat chance_ , Keith barely had time to think before a blue bolt of blaster fire slammed into Sendak’s back. He roared and fell forward, his grip loosening on Pidge and sending her sprawling. Keith instinctively glanced to the source of the blast.

_Lance??_

Lance groaned and slumped back against the bulkhead, his blaster flickering back down. Shiro sprang to his feet and lunged snarling at Sendak—

—and was immediately punched in the chest and out of the fight.

Keith dashed forward and slashed at Sendak’s chest. His sword clanged against Sendak’s metal armor, and Keith kicked him hard in the chest. He sliced at Sendak’s head; the alien dodged and his blade glanced off Sendak’s smaller hand instead. Something _whooshed_ up behind him and he had only enough time to register Sendak’s metal hand before it seized him in a bone-crushing grip. Keith flew through the air and felt the hand smash him against the metal floor. He choked, his wind completely knocked out of him. The hand tightened and Keith heard a crack in his armor.

Pidge shrieked to his left, and the green sheen of her laser-dagger flashed into Keith’s vision and severed Sendak’s arm completely. Sendak roared, staring with wide, angry eyes at his useless metal stub. He turned from Keith and charged Pidge.

Keith shoved the dead metal hand off his chest and pushed himself to his feet. Sendak struck at Pidge’s shield, knocking her back. She yelled, firing her green laser-whip. It wound itself around Sendak’s ankle and chest, sparks snapping angrily off it and shocking the alien with more than enough voltage to stop a human’s heart.

But Sendak merely flinched and growled, straining against the coils.

“ _Heeeeyaaaaaagh!”_ Keith cried, charging Sendak and bringing his sword swinging mightily up at him. Sendak reached with his one hand and caught the gleaming red blade. Keith gritted his teeth, clenching the sword.

“Keith, now!” Allura called. Keith jumped up and kicked Sendak with both feet, yanking his sword out of the alien’s grip. Sendak staggered backwards, and the force field snapped up mere inches from Keith’s face, trapping the alien.

“No!” Sendak howled. He pounded a fist against the barrier, but it barely flickered.

Keith stood glaring at him, a million angry rants running through his head. He wanted to _scream_ at Sendak; how _dare_ he hurt his friends like that—

Lance groaned to his left, snapping Keith back to reality. He sheathed his sword and hurried to his friend’s side. He yanked his helmet off and let it fall to the floor.

“Lance!” he exclaimed, kneeling next to him. Lance grimaced and tried to push himself up. Keith took his hand and pulled him to a more comfortable sitting position. “Are you okay?”

Lance’s breathing rattled, and his eyes didn’t really seem to focus when he looked at Keith. “We did it,” he said hoarsely. He smiled, and it was a weak shade of his usual bright grin. And the poor kid’s face was _white_ under all that blood and dirt, and his hand was shaking in Keith’s—

“We _are_ a good team.”

Keith forced a half smile, and Lance blinked away from him. Across the room from them, Pidge and Coran knelt next to Shiro. Sendak had shocked the living daylights out of the Black Paladin before Keith and Allura arrived, and Shiro’s expression still held a grimace. Keith looked up at Allura, who remained busy at the control panel. Lance braced a hand against the bulkhead and tried to push himself up.

“Woah, Lance—” Keith moved to steady him, but instead caught him as he fell back with a hiss of pain. Keith quickly sat with one foot tucked under his leg and let Lance slump against his chest. The kid shook in Keith’s arms, and his half-closed eyes gazed uncomprehendingly at the ceiling.

“Just sit still for a minute, okay?” Keith said. “Allura’s still getting the healing pods online.”

Lance nodded and tried to take a deeper breath. His face twisted and a whimper escaped his lips with a gasp.

“Can’t…breathe…” His eyes opened. “ _I can’t… breathe… Keith!_ ” he gasped, his voice pitched high and frantic.

“Take little breaths, buddy—there you go. Like that. You’ve probably got a few broken ribs. That’s all. You’re gonna be fine.”

“ _No, I’m not_ …” Lance whispered, still shaking. His eyes drifted shut.

“Okay, now you’re being a drama queen,” Keith squeezed his hand and glanced again at Allura to find she’d been watching.

“Ten more minutes until the pods are online,” she said gently. Keith nodded and looked back at Lance. He figured Lance had to have at _least_ one or two broken ribs, given the way he struggled for each shallow breath. And given the way he’d fallen when they’d found him initially, Keith guessed the seventeen year old had broken his fibula as well. Not to mention the concussive shock of the blast, and who knew how close Lance had been to that, or what it had done to him internally…

Lance whimpered again. “Shh. Just a few more minutes,” Keith murmured. “I need you to hang on for a few more minutes, okay?” He brushed Lance’s blood-matted bangs off his forehead, and gently dabbed away a tear trickling down his younger friend’s face. Lance didn’t even acknowledge him, and his shallow gasps became further spaced.

_I don’t think we have ten minutes._

“How’s he doing, Keith?” Shiro asked, suddenly appearing to Keith’s right and kneeling next to them. Pidge crouched at Keith’s left, her brows knitted in concern. Keith remembered one time when Lance had gotten a mild flu, and had basked in the attention the others gave him. But now he merely furrowed his brows at Shiro’s voice, as if searching for him through the fog of a dream. Keith looked up at Shiro and swallowed.

“Not good,” he replied. Lance groaned, proving his point, and Keith tightened his arms around him.

“Five more minutes,” Allura called. “We need to get him ready. That suit has to come off.”

“The suit’s jammed, over here on his left leg,” Pidge pointed out.

“Let’s get him up on the bulkhead,” Shiro said, indicating the flat surface three feet above and directly behind Keith.

Keith shifted his arm behind Lance’s shoulders and moved his other arm under the crook of his knees. Keith started to stand, but pain shot through his bent leg and he fell back with a jolt. Lance cried out and cringed, curling himself towards Keith’s chest. Keith grimaced and glanced up at Shiro.

“My leg fell asleep, I can’t—”

Without another word, Shiro scooped Lance up in one quick, smooth motion. He gently laid him down on the bulkhead, and Pidge got to work on the jammed suit. Lance’s breath came quick and shallow, and his eyes flickered open when Keith finally got to his feet and stood near his head.

“You’re going to be just fine, buddy,” Shiro said in a soft, reassuring tone. He held Lance’s hand and smoothed his hair off his furrowed brow, and Pidge finally snapped the warped armor off of Lance’s leg.

“The healing pods are ready,” Allura announced. One pod hissed open as she spoke. Lance was now clad only in the grey jumpsuit they wore under their armor, and Shiro scooped him up once more. He carefully placed him inside the pod, the pod’s stabilizer keeping Lance upright. Lance’s eyes drifted shut, the pod door closed, and Keith found himself staring at his own wide, worried eyes mirrored in the glass.

* * *

 

“His body was shutting down, and his brain wasn’t wasting any energy in making memories. That’s why he doesn’t remember.”

Laying on his bunk, Keith glanced over at Pidge standing in the doorway of his quarters. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“No, not really. But he trusted you with his life back there. He knew you weren’t a threat, and that you were taking care of him. His subconscious _will_ remember that.” Keith sat up, and she smiled. “So you guys did have a bonding experience. And actually, that’s going to help our team quite a bit.”

 


	3. A Little Spark of Fun (Gen)

Lance is leaning against the wall in Keith’s darkened room, his eyes half-closed, while Pidge tries to wake the Red Paladin. A mild headache that evening had turned into a pounding migraine some minutes before midnight, and it throbs right on the top of his skull. He’d stumbled, half-asleep and cringing, to Pidge’s room, not really realizing it was her door he’d been knocking on until she’d opened it. He’d practically begged her for some Ibuprofen, claiming the Altean medicine they’d all had to take at one point or another made his stomach feel weird. Pidge had blinked blearily at him, but had obliged and searched her room for it.

Except she’d come up empty-handed. They’d meant to go ask Hunk, but Lance kinda stumbled into Keith’s room by accident, and Pidge remembered that she’d given him the bottle a few days ago, anyway.

“Keith. Keith, wake up,” Pidge whispers, gently shaking Keith’s shoulder.

“ _Keeeeeiiiiiith.”_ Lance’s contribution is nothing short of a zombie’s moan, and Pidge cocks an eyebrow at him through the dim ambient light filtering in from the hall. But it seems to work, because Keith’s eyes blink open.

“What?” he slurs, slowly sitting up. He glances from Pidge to Lance, his brows knitting. “Wha’s going on?”

“He’s got a headache,” Pidge nods at Lance.

“D’you have the Ibuprofen?” Lance asks.

Keith sighs and shoves his blankets off himself. “I think so,” he mutters. He swings his legs over the side of the bed and rubs his eye with the heel of his hand. He fumbles for the switch on his reading light, but Pidge catches his hand.

“Keep that off,” she says quietly, and Lance is grateful he doesn’t have to deal with the bright light.

Keith glances at him, then staggers to his feet. “It’s here… somewhere,” he says. He moves to his dresser and starts moving things around and opening drawers. Pidge pulls open the drawer to his nightstand, but it’s empty, save for his reading tablet. She shuts it and moves to search some other part of the room.

Lance takes that as his cue to start helping in the search. So he plops down cross-legged on the floor and grabs Keith’s belt from the floor. He snaps open one of the pouches on it, and grins at the assortment of little rocks, pencils worn down to the eraser, and a tiny, weather-beaten notebook. He snaps open the other pocket. Bits of metal greet him, along with… _a lighter?_

He plucks it out of the pouch. Yep, Keith has a genuine, little antique fluid lighter in his possession. He flicks the lighter on, and an tiny, warm yellow light fills the room. Lance’s grin grows wider, and he _meant_ to call the others’ attention to it with an actual sentence. But his mind is still in a fog of headache and still-asleep, so all that comes out is a childish, delighted “Ooh, flame.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was actually inspired by something that happened at work. I'd handed my supervisor a lighter I'd found, and his response was to take it with an "ooh, flame!" and light it.


	4. What's in a Name? (Keidge)

She’d been so angry she’d been about to cry, but now she’s standing stock-still, her shoulders tense, her back rigid. 

“Katie?” 

Again. That name. Not Pidge when she was hiding, not Katherine when she was in trouble, but Katie. Familiarity and love and family and security and “everything’s okay” all prick at the edges of her despair but– 

That’s not Dad’s voice. 

The emotions are there, but that’s not Mom’s voice, that’s not Matt’s voice, that’s not Shiro’s voice– 

“Katie, we need to go.  _Now.”_  

Pidge gulps and turns. It’s Keith, he’s the only one in the room, he’s  _been_  the only one in the room this whole time. He’d helped her sneak into the control room, helped her try to remotely sneak a droid out, watched her yell when the alarms went off and the drone went dead. The alarms continue to blare, yellow lights flashing out of the corner of her eye. 

“What?” 

Keith doesn’t reply. He grabs her arm and hauls her out of the control room, seconds before they’re locked in. They run as fast as they can to Red, and Keith pilots them out of there with two seconds to spare on then ten-second cloaking Pidge had rigged for him. 

Pidge sits at the back of the cockpit, her knees drawn to her chest. She scowls at the floor, saying nothing to Keith. And he says nothing back, he only reports to the rest of the team that they were “unsuccessful. we’ll try again later.” 

There’s a smidge of hope in his tone, hope that Pidge has been having a really hard time hanging on to lately. He didn’t say “we failed” and leave it at that. He said they’d try again later. 

Just like he’d held her close all the times she’d been crying late at night, sobbing into his shoulder because the prospects were so bleak and it  _hurt._  

_We’re going to keep looking for your family, and we won’t stop until they’re safe._  

She’d told him her real name, on a whim when he’d asked out of the blue one day. 

_Katie…That’s a really pretty name._  

Familiarity and love and family and security and “everything’s gonna be okay.”


	5. Movie Night (Keidge)

Pidge frowned at her laptop, her mind still abuzz from the coffee she’d had a couple hours ago. Something in the data wasn’t quite adding up. She ran the analysis program again, chewing on a fingernail. 

The same error message appeared, and Pidge sighed. She saved her work, shut her laptop, and made a mental note to talk to Hunk in the morning. She glanced at her watch, realizing that technically she’d be talking to Hunk later that morning. 

Pidge left her lab, feeling wide awake and not relishing the idea of lying awake for hours contemplating her data and her missing family and anything else her mind wanted to throw at her. 

Light glowed under the observatory door, and Pidge paused. Someone was in there; it was either Coran fixing something, or– 

Pidge pushed the door open to find Keith sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the constellation displays, clad in sweats and a t-shirt. The stars passed by slowly, pausing occasionally when Keith found a solar system he wanted to know more about and selected the information feature. Pidge quietly stepped up behind him as he closed the info display after a few seconds and continued his stargazing. 

She moved beside him, and he glanced up at her. His head rested on his fist, and his flat expression and single raised eyebrow indicated he was bored out of his mind. 

“It’s after midnight, Keith,” Pidge said. “Whatcha doin’?” 

Keith shrugged. “Can’t sleep,” he muttered, then yawned. 

Pidge frowned at him. Aside from looking bored, his zoned-out gaze, half-lidded eyes, and the way sat slumped like a ragdoll told her he was exhausted. She stepped closer and ran a gentle hand across his hunched shoulders. “Why not?” 

“Brain won’t shut up,” he mumbled. “How come you’re still up?” 

Pidge held out her laptop. “Research.” 

“Learn anything?” 

“No. The data we got from that droid today is all wonky and encoded weird. It’s not working and I’m tired of dealing with it right now.” 

“You’ll figure it out,” Keith murmured, his voice soft. 

“Yeah.” 

They fell silent, their gazes drifting over to the mesmerizing star field. None of the constellations looked familiar, and Pidge was once again struck with just how far they were from home, how foreign everything still was, despite how much time they’d spent travelling between the stars and meeting countless numbers of alien races. It never failed to amaze her, but sometimes she wanted to be at home, curled up with her favorite dog-eared novel, with the fire crackling and Dad and Matt joking in the kitchen– 

“You should probably go to bed,” Keith said, thankfully interrupting her reminiscing before it drove tears to her eyes. Pidge swallowed and glanced at him. His gaze remained relatively alert and fixed on the stars. Pidge couldn’t help feeling sorry for him; she knew too well what it was like to be kept on the brink of sleep, forbidden by an overactive mind from falling into a much-needed slumber.  

“I’m not tired. Like, at all,” she said. “Wanna watch a movie?” 

Keith glanced up at her. “Sure…Can we finish  _Lord of the Rings_?” 

* * *

 

They sat together on the lounge couch, snuggled up near the armrest with Pidge’s laptop in front of them playing  _Return of the King_. They’d started their marathon a few weeks ago, after Pidge had gaped at Keith when he’d admitted to loving the books but never being able to see the movies. Pidge rested her head against his chest, paying less attention to the movie than to how he tensed at the critical battle-moments, and how she could feel more than hear him laughing quietly at the lighter scenes. He’d actually let out a soft, triumphant “yeah!” when Eowyn had revealed herself to the Witch King and defeated him.  

“You remind me of her,” he’d whispered to Pidge, and she’d smiled and snuggled closer. 

The movie drew to a close, with the hobbits saying their final tearful goodbyes. The screen faded into the credits, and the slow, peaceful notes of the music drifted over them. Pidge caught Keith’s reflection in the thin black casing surrounding the screen. His eyes were wet, as hers had been the first time she’d seen the film. 

“Man,” he’d whispered, rubbing his eye. He didn’t seem to be able to say anything else, but his voice had been thick with emotion and appreciation. 

Pidge shifted and kissed him on the cheek. She settled back into his embrace, exhaustion finally washing over her. She felt him kiss her hair, and she smiled, her eyes drifting shut. 

The movie stopped several long minutes later, and Pidge pulled herself from the hazy edges of sleep to open one eye. She could see Keith better in the darkened screen. His eyes were closed, his expression peaceful and relaxed in slumber. Pidge reached out for the laptop and carefully set it on the floor. She curled up against him, listening to his soft, gentle breaths and the slow, steady beat of his heart before she, too, fell asleep. 


	6. No Matter What (Keidge)

_“Pidge, jump! I’ll catch you, I promise!”_  

 _She’s standing on a hovering platform, caught between the safety of the higher deck and the swarm of_ _Galrans_ _below her. She hesitates, calculating as always, glancing between him and the deteriorating maintenance platform on which she stands. Sliding doors have closed to within feet of her, threatening to snap shut over her should her platform drop any further. Her footing is wobbly as the platform’s circuits short out and make it lurch; the_ _Galrans_ _are firing at her it instead of at her. Killing a Paladin instead of taking them hostage would defeat the purpose of the_ _Galrans_ _luring them all here in the first place._  

 _Keith’s lying on his stomach, leaning so far off the edge of the deck he’s in danger of falling himself. His left hand grips a divot in the floor, his right stretched out so far his arm hurts with the effort. “Trust me! Jump!”_  

* * *

 

“Keith.” Lance’s voice, too close, icy sharp and cutting deep. There’s a rage in his eyes that spears into Keith’s skull, adding to the swirling, pounding panic screaming in his mind. 

“Shiro asked you a question,” Lance snaps. “ _Start talking._ ” 

 _“_ I…I…” 

* * *

 

 _Pidge crouches and jumps, reaching for Keith with both hands. He feels her palm brush his, his fingers just meeting hers—_  

 _Blaster fire searing the hand that grasps the deck, making him lose his grip. Keith yelps and flinches and almost falls off the deck._  

 _And his right hand closes over dead air._  

 _Pidge screams, falling away._  

 _He yells, lunges for her, almost throwing himself off the deck. A blaster shot to his armored shoulder pushes him back, keeps him from falling._  

 _The bay doors snap shut._  

 _He can only stare, wide-eyed, at the black metal. A frozen vice clamps itself around his chest, squeezing the life out of his heart and lungs until he can’t breathe._  

* * *

 

 _“_ I…I lost her. She jumped and I couldn’t catch her.” Keith’s voice is no more than a strangled whisper. A thought breaks through the panic:  _It’s my fault…It’s my fault it’s my fault it’s my—_  

“ _YOU FAILED HER!!”_ Lance screams. He lunges at Keith, teeth bared in rage, his fist flying towards Keith’s face. 

 _“_ Lance!” Hunk grabs Lance’s arm and catches him across the chest, holding him back. 

 _“_ Lance, stand down!” Shiro barks. 

Lance wrenches himself from Hunk’s grip, but he doesn’t strike at Keith again. He stands still, breathing fast, trembling as he glares at Keith. “You failed her,” he says, and his voice is suddenly so controlled, so perfectly modulated, that it carries his anger far better than yelling ever could. “She trusted you with her life, and you let her fall to her death.” 

Keith’s stomach lurches. “No, I—” 

 _“Shut up._ ” Lance snarls. He pauses, the icy fire in his eyes burning a hole through Keith. Yet Keith can’t look anywhere else; the grief in Hunk’s eyes or the horror in Shiro’s will most definitely break him. 

“Do you know what they’re going to do to her?” Lance continues. “They’re going to  _torture her_ ,Keith. They’re going to ask her about everything she knows about us and the Lions, and they’re going to torture her until they break her.” Lance steps closer. “And Pidge won’t give it to them. She doesn’t break that easy. So they’re going to hurt her worse, and worse. And if we can’t find the ship she’s on, if we don’t get to her in time, then one day they’re going to go too far, and kill her. Pidge is going to die _because_ _of you!”_  

The floor is falling away from Keith, his head spinning so hard he’s about to fall. His stomach wrenches itself into a painful knot, and his throat closes up and he almost chokes. Shiro sounds far, far away, his voice muffled as he tells Lance  _she’s NOT going to die, we WILL get to her in time…_  

 _Her fingers brushing his, their heads mere feet away, her eyes going wide and terrified when he misses the catch, when she starts to fall…_  

Keith swallows, gripping his bayard, molding the storm of panic into something stronger, something powerful that he can  _use_. 

“I am going to find her,” Keith growls, and the others look at him. “I don’t care what it takes.” There’s a surety in his voice that echoes the determination in his chest, a resolve so strong and fierce it will let  _nothing_  stand in his way. “ _I will find her._ ” 


	7. Beginnings (Keidge)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of these are based off of prompts, but I need to include the prompt for this one.  
> Prompt: keith catches pidge staring longingly at the picture of her brother. again. what does he do?

He’s not sure  _what_  to do. 

They hadn’t seen Pidge since lunch. She’d holed herself up in her lab all afternoon and through dinner, and only fifteen minutes ago the rest of the Paladins had decided to head to bed. Keith had wandered off to his room, but hadn’t even taken his jacket off. He’d just stood there, frowning at the floor. 

Because something was wrong. He didn’t know how he knew–Pidge would often shut herself up in her lab for hours on end–but slight,  _slight_  little nuances had worked their way into his mind and now won’t let him rest. 

So he’d headed over to her lab and quietly pushed the door open. 

She’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by printouts and her laptop and she’s staring at a small piece of paper in her hand. Keith recognizes it immediately: it’s the picture of her and Matt at the carnival. 

She stiffens and looks up at him, and her eyes are red-rimmed. For a split second he can see her trying to compose herself, to pretend like everything’s okay. She moves to shove the picture in her pocket. 

But he’s already seen it, and she knows that, and her shoulders slump and she looks away. 

And Keith doesn’t know what to do. 

He’s never lost a family member–his mom almost doesn’t count because he barely remembers her anymore, and the foster families weren’t worth thinking about to begin with. And no one had spoken to him when Shiro suddenly disappeared. He doesn’t know how comfort people with words. He’s not even that good at hugging. 

But he knows enough to realize that “are you okay” would be the stupidest question to ask. Because she’s  _not._  

So he swallows and takes a risk. He steps gingerly over her work and sits down next to her. Her shoulders hunch even further, almost like she’s cringing away from him. 

“Do you want to talk about anything?” Keith asks. 

Pidge shrugs, and she’s silent for a long moment. Keith wonders if he’s overstepping his boundaries, wonders if Pidge is resenting his attention and just wants to be alone. 

“What if I never find them?” Her words are so faint that they almost don’t go farther than her lips. 

And that sounds an awful lot like giving up, like letting go of the hope of ever seeing them again and drowning in a sorrow so deep, so crushing, that it hurts to  _breathe._  

(Keith hadn’t been able to breathe until the day Shiro’s ship came crashing into the desert.) 

“You will,” he says, almost without thinking. She doesn’t respond, and now he doesn’t care if he’s overstepping any boundaries. He reaches out and squeezes her hand, and she blinks at him. 

“You’re going to keep looking. And we’re going to help you. And we’re not stopping until we find your dad and your brother. Promise.” 

She looks away and sighs, but some of the tension in her shoulders is gone, and she hasn’t let go of his hand. So he takes one more risk. 

“Come on. It’s late.” He reaches out and shuts the lid on her dark laptop. “Have you eaten?” 

“Um…no.” 

“Let’s get you something to eat. And then you need to get some sleep. Okay?” 

“All right,” Pidge mutters, rubbing her eye. But she lets Keith pull her to her feet, and they step carefully over her scattered paperwork and out the door. And it almost feels like a reflex, the way his arm falls naturally over her shoulders when she fits herself snugly against his side. 


	8. Rescue (Keidge)

She tiptoes in silence, her breathing the tiniest puffs of air against the glass of her helmet. Her bayard remains dark at her side, and she is a mere shadow creeping through the darkeness of the corridor. No sound filters through her headset; she’s muted her teammates in case the sounds of their voices carry past her helmet. 

It stinks down here, down in the rotting belly of the old prison ship. It smells like sweat and blood and too many other things that she recognizes and does _not_ want to think about. 

_You’re the smallest, Pidge, you’re the least likely to be seen._  

She has exactly ten minutes before her teammates assume the worst and come charging into the corridor. But there’s at least twenty guards at the end of the hall, which would mean a firefight. 

Or shooting fish in a barrel, since there’s no hiding place for the Paladins besides the doorway Pidge entered through. 

Two doors to go…one door… and she’s in front of Keith’s cell. She presses herself against the door, hiding in the slight divot it makes in the wall as she sets her little gadget on the lock. It beeps once, softly and yet far too loud. The door hisses open. One quick glance at the end of the hall tells her the guards have yet to notice. 

She slips into the dark room, her small form only partly blocking the dim light from the hall. She spots Keith in a second. He’s curled up on his side in the far corner, shading his eyes despite the dimness, blinking fast. 

“ _Pidge?”_ His voice is a hoarse, pained whisper. He tries to push himself up, but his arm is shaking. There’s blood all over his face, and his jacket is torn and his face is _white_ under all that blood… 

His efforts are moot; he’s too weak to move and he collapses with a groan. But not before Pidge rushes across the room, dropping to her knees and catching him in her arms. 

“I got you,” she murmurs. His face is twisted in an agonized grimace, and he’s trembling and breathing is no more than quick, shallow shudders. He blinks up at her, and his eyes are hazy with pain and confusion and probably a fever. Whatever the Galra have done to him has left him broken and bruised, a fragile remnant of his old self. 

Anger churns inside Pidge, like boiling water dancing dangerously close to the edges of the pot. Her arms tighten around him, carefully helping him to sit up. “I’m gonna get you out of here. But I can’t carry you.” Oh, how she _wishes_ she could. But he’s too tall for her, and she needs to be able to grab her bayard in a moment’s notice. 

Keith nods, his eyes half shut. He grits his teeth and, with a death-grip on her arm, shoves himself to his feet. He’s shaking so bad Pidge worries he’s going to fall, and she holds him close, supporting him with both hands. 

Fifty feet. Only fifty feet lie between them and the safety just beyond the door. But it takes _so long_ to get there, and Pidge is cringing with each not-so-silent step. desperately hoping the Galra don’t think to glance down the hall and wonder what’s limping through the shadows. 

Thirty…twenty…ten…and then they’re through the door and Keith is collapsing, dropping to the ground like a puppet whose strings have been cut. Pidge catches him, slowing his fall, and holds him against her chest for a moment while Hunk secures the door. Shiro steps forward, gently taking his unconscious form from her arms. They form up around him, and hurry towards the Lions. 

Pidge flew in with Shiro, and she flies out with him now. She sits on the floor behind the pilot seat, Keith once again cradled in her arms. It’s a short flight, but he’s still trembling and his skin is far too warm. Pidge gently wipes the blood off his face, and his eyes flutter open for just a second. He flicks a wide, scared glance around the cockpit, tensing. 

“It’s okay,” Pidge murmurs, and he looks at her. He blinks, eyes squinting in confusion. 

“It’s okay. You’re safe now. We’re taking you home.” 

Recognition flickers in his eyes a split second before they drift shut again, and he goes limp once more. 

Pidge holds him close, cleaning the blood from his face and hair. “You’re gonna be okay,” she whispers. 


	9. Realization (Jaxia)

“This is ridiculous.” 

“No, it’s math.” Raynia glanced up at Jax from across their study table. She sat with one knee drawn to her chest, her chin resting on her knee as she studied her hand-written (on  _actual paper_ ) notes. “What are you stuck on?” 

“Number twelve.”  

“Twelve? As in the first one we were assigned?” 

“Maybe.” Jax turned the page of his digital book, looking over the section again. He looked up at Raynia and shrugged. “I really don’t get it.” 

“Well,  _that’s_  not good, because we have a test in two days.” Raynia got up and sat in the chair next to him. Jax tensed, and then she  _scooted closer–_  

“Let’s do the example one first, because we know the answer already.” Raynia started explaining, working out the problem on Jax’s assignment. Her voice was gentle, patient, and Jax almost couldn’t believe she’d literally been  _screaming_  at him earlier that day. 

(He’d messed up, big time, during training. Two training bots were sneaking up behind him, and he didn’t see them until she’d shrieked at him to turn around, the authority in her tone triggering some kind of fight-or-flight response. He’d never moved faster in his life. 

She’d laughed afterwords and apologized for scaring him. He’d rolled his eyes. “You don’t scare me, Little One.” 

Those were fighting words, and he knew it, and he’d laughed when her face had twisted into a flustered mix of outraged amusement and she’d punched him on the arm.) 

“Does that make sense?” she asked, and Jax snapped back to the present and the awful math problems in front of him. 

“Yes, yes, it does.” 

Raynia raised an eyebrow. “Were you even listening?” 

Jax couldn’t think of a response, and Raynia sighed. But instead of getting mad at him, she laid her crossed arms on the desk and rested her chin on them. Her hair hung delicately over her neck, and his heart, for whatever reason, skipped a beat when she looked up at him. 

“I’m not really sure I get it, either. I’ve been working halfway through the problems and getting stuck at the same part. I thought maybe you’d remember something.” 

Jax shook his head. “Honestly, I don’t think we covered this part yet.” 

“It’d help if you took notes,” she smirked at him. 

“It’d help if you were actually in class,” he replied. 

“I had a legitimate excuse.” She yawned. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah.” She smiled. “I didn’t feel like going.” 

Jax laughed quietly. “Makes perfect sense.” 

Raynia looked back across the table, her face relaxed into a tired smile. 

_She’s beautiful,_  Jax thought suddenly, and clamped his mouth shut, for a split second terrified that he’d said it out loud. He looked back at his book, feeling his face burn a little. 

“You want to get something to eat?” Raynia asked. 

“Uh…no, no, I’m not hungry,” Jax replied, pretending to be focused on his work. 

“All right.” Raynia stood, closed her tablet, and tucked her notes under her arm. “See you tomorrow.” 

“Good night,” Jax replied, forcing himself to shoot a half-smile in her direction. She smiled back, and left, and Jax’s trembling hand dropped his pen. 

_This isn’t good._  

Her soft, gentle voice rang in his ears, and he remembered the way her hand had felt, cool against his skin, when she’d taken his pen from him to work out a math problem. 

Jax let his head drop to the desk with a  _thud._  


	10. Amin Mela Lle (Jaxia)

“Jax.”

Jax turned and stopped walking when he heard Raynia’s voice. It was late, it was windy and cold between the campus buildings, and she had a test tomorrow. She shouldn’t be out so late.

But there she was, standing under a white tree with her jacket zipped up to her neck and her fists scrunched inside her sleeves. Her headphones dangled around her neck, but her books were nowhere to be seen. 

“Raynia?” Jax stepped closer, ducking under the branches. Raynia actually backed away from him a bit, and Jax stopped.

“Are you all right?” he asked. Her arms and shoulders shook, but he couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or her nerves.

“Did you request a transfer?” she asked. “Did you…request a different co-commander?”

 _Oh, no._  The hurt in her eyes grew as he hesitated.

“I did. But I meant to withdraw it. I just…with the Gamma sector under attack, I was so distracted that I forgot.”

“Why?” Raynia whispered, her voice tight and disbelieving.

“Because…” Jax looked at the ground. “When we were paired up, I didn’t…I wasn’t sure what to make of you. I didn’t think you had what it took.”

“So you lied to me,” Raynia said. “When I told you…what held me back, when you convinced me not to give up, when you said I had potential…you lied to me?”

“No, Raynia—”

“ _Why?_ ” Her voice cracked and she gulped. “I don’t need your approval. I don’t need you as a co-commander. But…why did you lie to me?”

“I wasn’t lying,” Jax said, and Raynia tilted her head in confusion.

“The applications take a month to process. During that time, I came to realize many things. You do have potential, you are a great warrior, and you are fully capable of being the best commander in our army. And I did not tell anyone what you told me.”

Raynia sighed. The wind blew stronger, and she shivered and scrunched further inside her jacket. “You don’t have to withdraw your application just because I heard about it,” she said. “We’d both be better off with someone else.” She turned to go, and Jax reached out and caught her harm.

“No, I won’t. Raynia, please.” Jax paused, his heart pounding. Now or never. “I plan on withdrawing my application, if you’ll still have me as your co-commander. You are smart and brave and fierce and… _Amin mela lle_.”

“What?”

“I love you, Raynia.”

She stared at him, and for a heart-stopping moment Jax feared she’d turn him down. 

“I am not lying to you, Raynia. I never lied to you.” Jax took a breath. “If you don’t feel the same way, I understand—”

He was cut off when she lunged forward, rising on her toes to kiss him on the lips. Her hand gripped his arm, and when she pulled back, she was shaking harder than ever.

“ _Amin mela lle_ ,” she whispered, her voice wavering. 

Jax gripped her trembling hands and pulled her close, and kissed her again. Gradually her shaking stopped, and her hands rested on his collarbones. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Jax pulled back a little, and Raynia rested her head on his chest.

“This can’t work, Jax,” she murmured.

Jax took a deep breath and ran a gentle hand over the back of her neck. “We can make it work.”

Rania hummed softly in reply, and tilted her head up to kiss him again.


	11. As You Wish (Jaxia)

Raynia flicked off her light and crawled into her bunk, curling into a tight ball and pulling her blanket over her head. She didn’t have a thermostat in her room–no one did, they didn’t have enough resources to keep pumping hot or cold air all over the compound. Not yet, anyway. For now the base’s generators sent the majority of their power to the shields, and kept the base at an almost lukewarm temperature. 

Lukewarm to Raynia, that is. She spent her days with her gloves on and her warmest jacket zipped up to her neck, and she went outside as little as possible. The damp air, while not really  _too_  cold, seeped into her bones and made her shiver within minutes. 

But everyone else seemed fine, leaving her to hide her shivering as best she could. 

It felt like there was a draft at her back, and she craned her neck to make sure her blanket was actually covering her. It was, and she sighed and hid herself under the covers again. 

Gradually, after she lay perfectly still for an hour, trying to create a nice warm spot in her bunk, she started to grow warm and felt sleep seep over the edges of her mind. 

A knock sounded at her door, and Raynia’s eyes snapped open. 

“Ugh,” she sighed, pushing herself out her bunk and stumbling towards the door. She started shivering almost immediately, and she grabbed her jacket from her chair, thinking she’d have to go out of her quarters to take care of something. 

She opened the door to find Jax standing there. 

“Oh, hi,” she said, immediately relaxing and smiling at him. 

“Did I wake you?” he asked. He stood clad in his sleeping attire, and Raynia cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“No. What do you need?” 

“Nothing. Can I come in?” 

“Sure.” She stepped aside, and Jax glanced down the hall, making sure no one would see him, then stepped in her room and shut her door. 

“Uh, if you’re still cold, I could sleep here, if you want,” Jax said, shrugging at her. 

Raynia tilted her head in confusion, then remembered their conversation that morning. She’d gotten barely any sleep, having spent about four hours shivering before she gave up and put her coat and tactical pants on and slept in those. It was uncomfortable, but she’d been too exhausted to care. And she’d woken up that morning feeling just as tired. She’d shuffled to morning briefing like a zombie and lost count of how many times she’d yawned while Jax gave everyone instructions on what to do. 

_Are you okay?_ he’d asked.  _Construction work isn’t THAT boring._  

_Yeah, it is,_  she’d laughed. She’d yawned again and shrugged.  _I didn’t sleep that well. It’s a little cold in my room, but it’s no big deal._  

_“_ We need to get the heating system fixed,” Jax continued. 

“Yeah.” Raynia nodded. “And yes, you can stay here.” She smirked at him. “Is this a cover up? Do you get bad dreams?” 

“No,” Jax laughed softly. 

Raynia curled up with Jax at her back, tucked snugly against his chest. Her shivering stopped almost immediately. 

“Good night, Little One,” Jax murmured. 

Raynia elbowed him in the stomach. “Ow!” he yelped quietly, and Raynia stifled a laugh with her blanket. 

“Don’t call me that,” she whispered, though she still smiled. 

“As you wish,” Jax said, hugging her tighter. Raynia snuggled closer and fell asleep with a smile on her face. 


	12. Similarities (Jaxia)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during SWCYH.

Raynia pounded her fist on the door of Jax’s quarters. It was late, the blizzard howled outside, and they had a  _lot_  of work ahead of them. 

But she didn’t feel bad about interrupting his sleep. She hadn’t slept much since the two Lions had dropped from the sky several days ago, and she didn’t count on getting much more any time soon. Especially not with what had just happened.  _Especially_  not after the  _stupid_  decision they’d just made. 

Jax opened the door, his eyes still alert and his jacket still on. He hadn’t been sleeping, but the worried lines on his face deepened when he saw her. 

“I have some information that we need to go over, Commander,” Raynia said, just barely managing to keep the edge out of her voice. 

Jax nodded and stepped aside, allowing her to enter. She waited until he closed the door before she practically  _threw_  the holographic display into the center of the room, where it floated on anti-gravs and displayed a holographic screen. 

“We are in  _serious_  trouble,” she snapped, scrolling through the options until she found the video she wanted. 

“I am aware of that,” Jax replied. He sounded  _exhausted,_  but he stood straight, his arms crossed. 

“Oh,  _are you_? I’m glad,” Raynia retorted. She swallowed, forcing herself to take a deep breath, clenching her fists to steady her shaking hands. “I have further evidence that proves the Red Paladin,  _Keith_ , is who he says he is.” She pulled up one video after another. She showed Jax how the Red Paladin had broken down in tears when he’d been told the Green Paladin had died–“A stupid,  _stupid_ , lie,” Raynia muttered, “ _why_ did we agree to go through with that??” It was very probable that she and Jax, two impossibly young commanders on their first assignment, had put an irreparable rift between the Deltans and Voltron, and the thought made Raynia sick to her stomach. 

“Technically it was my decision,” Jax said, but Raynia silenced him with a look. 

“We are  _both_ commanders of this base, and equally responsible,  _thank you very much.”_  

Facial analysis had shown genuine grief and fury on the Red Paladin’s expression, both when lied to and when told the truth. 

“Obviously these are the first humans we’ve analyzed,” Raynia said. “But I think it’s pretty clear, even without the program, that he was telling the truth.” She pulled up the video of when the Paladins were reunited. She hadn’t seen this one herself yet, and part of her debated on watching it, for privacy reasons. 

 _But what if he’s just a really good actor?_  

“Is that all?” Jax asked. 

Raynia sighed. “No.” She played the video and stepped back from the display. 

What she saw made her heart  _ache._  

The Paladins cared for each other, deeply so. The Green Paladin, while still likely hurting from her surgery, had tried to comfort the Red Paladin, and vice versa. And there was a tender expression on both their faces when they looked at each other that, for a moment, she couldn’t place. She frowned at the display, and glanced at Jax– 

 _Oh._  

She knew now where she’d seen that look before. 

“I am sorry,” Jax said after a long moment when the video feed ended. 

“Why are you apologizing to  _me?_ ” 

“The bond between the Paladins is stronger than mere teamwork. It is clear that they love each other, and would do nothing to harm each other. I am apologizing to you because I acted rashly when I interrogated the Red Paladin. My actions affect you directly, and I cannot claim to love you without taking ownership for what I did to harm you. We may be co-commanders, but I am responsible for the harm I caused to the Red Paladin. I am sorry.” 

Raynia took a deep breath. “Thank you,” she murmured. She pulled up some more information on the display. “We need to work to rectify this.” 

“Agreed,” Jax said, stepping closer to view the display. His hand was gentle on the small of her back, and she leaned into him a little bit, wordlessly letting him know that things were mended between them. Now all that remained was to mend the rift they’d managed to put between the Deltans and the Paladins. 


	13. Just a Dream (Jaxia)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after SWCYH.

_Jax’s_ _eyes open to a dimly-lit corridor. He’s lying curled up on his side, but the second he’s awake he’s shouted at and hauled to his feet._  

 _“Hands over your head!” a voice behind him barks. A gun jabs his back, pushing him forward._ _Jax_ _obeys, gasping; his throat is on FIRE and he can’t breathe._  

 _“I have excellent news for you, Commander_ _Jax_ _.”_ _Zendan’s_ _voice, stepping out of the shadows. “Your co-commander did not perish, after all.”_  

 _Two more soldiers appear to_ _Jax’s_ _left, and_ _Jax’s_ _heart seizes painfully._ _Raynia_ _stands between the soldiers, her hands held shaking over her head. Her eyes are glaring, but there’s stark lines of pain on her face._  

 _“_ _Raynia_ _!”_ _Jax_ _chokes out, lunging for her without thinking. He’s grabbed by the arms and hauled back; he kicks and fights, but a gun is held to his throat._  

 _“Both of you have information on the_ _Deltan_ _forces, and on the Paladins,”_ _Zendan_ _says. “You will give it to me.”_  

 _“I am Commander_ _Raynia_ _of Base_ _Ceti_ _Alpha Nine,”_ _Raynia_ _says, her voice tight._  

 _“Excuse me?”_  

 _Jax_ _realizes what she’s doing. That’s all the information they’re permitted to offer when captured._  

 _“I am Commander_ _Jax_ _of Base_ _Ceti_ _Alpha Nine,” he says, his pained voice barely louder than a whisper. “And that’s all you’re getting from us.”_  

 _Raynia_ _gasps and grimaces, her hands falling to clutch her stomach. The guards yell at her, but she drops to her knees._  

 _The baby. “_ _Raynia_ _!”_ _Jax_ _cries. He jerks against the soldiers’ grip, but their fists are like iron around his arms._  

 _“Get up!”_ _Zendan_ _barks at_ _Raynia_ _. She tries, she really tries, but her legs give out and she groans._  

 _“_ _Jax_ _!”_ _Raynia_ _gasps. One soldier points his gun at her, and_ _Jax_ _yells._  

“Jax!” 

Jax sits bolt upright, gasping and panting. His chest  _hurts,_ and his fists are tight around the sheets. He’s shaking and trembling, and he can still hear Raynia’s cries, can still feel the pain in his throat as he yells– 

“Jax. Jax, it’s okay. It’s just a dream.” 

Raynia’s voice murmurs next to him, her hand gentle on his back. 

 _She’s…she’s okay._  

Jax clamps a trembling hand over his mouth and shuts his eyes. Next to him, Raynia sits up on her knees and holds him close. He leans against her, feeling his tears slide down his face. 

 _Had the Paladins not shown up, she and the baby would have died._  

“I’m right here,” Raynia murmurs. “It was just a dream.” 

Jax lets out a shuddering breath and grips her hand tight.


	14. Apologies (Keidge)

“Pidge?”

Pidge sat at her desk with her head resting on her crossed arms. She didn’t bother to look up from staring at the wall when she snapped, “What do you _want_ , Keith??”

“What do you think? To see if you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

Keith huffed a humorless laugh and crossed the room. He settled on the edge of her desk. “You’re not fine.”

Pidge didn’t answer.

“It’s just a faulty droid, Pidge, you’ve run across them all the time.”

“No, you don’t understand…” Pidge broke off, swiping at new tear that threatened to fall.

“Then enlighten me,” Keith said gently.

“The information in that droid is probably the best lead I’ve ever gotten on finding my family,” Pidge explained, forcing her voice to remain steady. “And I can’t even get it to turn on.”

“So you can’t get it to turn on. Can’t you hook up an external power supply?”

“No. The connections are melted.”

“I see. And there’s no other way you can get the information?”

“Not without it locking up or self-destructing or something.”

“Okay.” Keith remained silent for a moment. “Pidge, do you have any idea how  bad you scared everybody when you went off the way you did?”

“I…” Pidge frowned.

“Hunk _freaked out_. He thought he’d said or done something to set you off.” Pidge’s heart twisted. “Shiro said to give you some time, but it’s been a good six hours, Pidge, and you haven’t left your lab. You gotta eat, you gotta sleep, and you need to _not_  give up.”

“I’m not giving up.”

“Are you just saying that?”

Pidge swallowed and shut her eyes and didn’t answer. Keith scooted closer and ran a gentle hand across her back.

“That droid…was supposed to be the final answer,” Pidge said quietly. “And…and it’s not, and I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

Keith’s hand stilled. “So you’re giving up?”

“I…I don’t want to give up, I just…”

“Just because one thing didn’t work doesn’t mean you throw in the towel,” Keith said softly.

“I know.” 

“I know you know that, but you needed to hear it anyway. And I know this sounds weird, coming from me, but you gotta keep a level head about this, Pidge. If the droid’s not working out, then you _need to let it go.”_

Pidge opened her eyes. “But–”

“No buts. If it’s not working, then you need to stop wasting your time on it. You’re just frustrating yourself at this point, and it’s hurting you and everyone else.”

Pidge cringed. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“You’ve got a lot of talents, Pidge, and you can’t give up and let them go to waste,” Keith continued, smiling small and warm at her. “You probably learned a few things from that droid, am I right?” Pidge nodded. 

“But it doesn’t work, it’s probably not going to work, and you need to come to grips with that. You need to move on and focus on something else.” Keith smoothed her bangs out of her eyes. “Does that sound like a plan?”

“Yeah,” Pidge murmured, wiping her eyes and sitting up.

Keith gently cupped her face in his hands. “I don’t want to ever see you give up,” he murmured. “I don’t want to see you that broken. You’re stronger than that, and you’re braver than that.”

Pidge sighed. “I’m sorry for freaking out, and I’m sorry if I scared you,” she said, looking down at Keith’s boots.

“Thanks.” Keith leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “Chin up, kiddo. You’re gonna be okay.”


	15. Wolves (Jaxia)

“And…and….Jax, I just don’t _know!_ ” Raynia ran a trembling hand through her hair. “I just…I need like a feedback monitor, or an audio recorder, to play it back for me.” She looked at the floor, away from where Jax sat patiently on the edge of their bed. “I know it sounds crazy,” she whispered. “But I don’t trust my memories. I’m scared I’m making something up, something that isn’t true.”

“If you don’t know, then what can you do now?” Jax asked softly.

“I-I don’t know. Make a public post or something. Ask Arin to…” Her eyes widened. “I’ll ask Arin to look over the security footage. He’d be able to spot if something happened.” She moved to grab her communicator.

“Raynia,” Jax said.

“No, this is going to work—”

 _“Raynia._ Put the communicator down and listen to me. There’s no security cameras in that area. It’s a blind spot.”

Raynia felt the blood drain from her face. “You…you’re sure?” she whispered.

Jax nodded. “Yes.”

Raynia set her communicator on the table, saying nothing, feeling her chest tighten up again.

“I’m such an idiot,” she whispered finally.

“Yeah, what you did was pretty dumb,” Jax agreed, and Raynia flinched. “But it’s over now. There is literally _nothing_ you can do.”

“I just want to _know_ what I did. I want to remember it.”

“Or you can just let it go.”

Raynia swallowed. “I can’t, Jax! I c-can’t go through my life with this hanging over me.” She rubbed at a hot tear that tried to escape.

“No, Raynia, that’s not how it works.” Jax stood and took both her hands. “You let it go like we let those wolves back on Ceti Alpha Nine. Wolves are angry, they’re vicious, they’ll tear you apart if you let them. But we opened the gate and away they ran.” He leaned forward. “You need to do the same thing with the wolves in your own mind. They’re tearing you up for no reason. Open the gate and let them go.” He paused. “And in future, don’t do something stupid so they come back.”

“I’m _never_ doing that again, I’ve learned my lesson,” Raynia remarked.

“Good.” Jax smoothed a bit of hair out of her eyes. She hiccupped and gritted her teeth, determined _not_ to cry.

“Let the wolves go, Raynia,” Jax said gently. “Can you do that?”

“I…I’ll try.”

Jax kissed her lightly on the forehead. “That’s my girl,” he whispered.


End file.
